Sinkin’ down, a never ending rabbit-hole of no return, purple Maxie, at the moment of the touch of the malevolent rapist, being a 3-year-old baby, morphed into something else.
The battering ram of the cruel hand of the betrayer, pouring acid on his heart & soul, sealed by the seal of confusion, forever trapped in the dungeons of denial, the tsunami of false self drowns the true one.
From pure-bliss playful bubbly joyful happy go lucky relaxed giggly vibes, to an imploded universe forced like a perverted-goad through to his core.
Maxie-Max now truly felt bad, why is this happening to me?
Since no words or logic for the deceit of the grand-rapist,
And no relief from the steel-grasp of the sadist witch-creep,
Since the jungle of his heart,
Moonlit and o so very dark,
Housing now abominable monstrosities,
And lurking serpentine anti-seeds,
Since all was now soaked with gloom,
Dripping blood, as in ancient ceremonies,
Maximus believed the lie.
The poison of Lucifer,
Being masterfully planted within him,
Telling him lies sweet lies,
That he is damaged, worthless & vile,
And his sickness did as well.
To make up for the damage,
And cover his heart which was ravaged,
Ugly-Maxie embraced performance.
The mask of false self now cross-nailed,
He labored tirelessly night & day,
To please others that is,
And always be a winning best.
The lid to his dungeon-hole being a trigger,
The thump thump thump of the trampling of the monster,
Maximum deeply suppressed the truth within,
To be delayed until he was ready.
Never letting his guard down,
Or allowing himself to be open,
The tip of the tongue of the snake,
Maxie grew more & more,
Tired, sad & unsatisfied.
The true self,
Locked in the torturous dungeons within,
Sending grieving cries for help,
Tried to break through to the surface;
Finally after much thought,
And even a couple of prayers,
The true self devised a plan.
If instead of random acts,
And being all over the place,
I gather all my effort,
And energy into a ball,
Channelling it into a Golden Master-Arrow,
To bring illumination to the eyes of Max,
Proclaiming to him in prophetic & deep tongues,
The secret to his robbed & raped former self,
Then perhaps after years of wait,
I can finally be set free,
To express my God-given gifts.
Finally after much turmoil,
True-self’s dream was devised,
The sequence of dream is as such:
Boy-Maxie walks by waters,
Upbeat, cheerful & funky-relaxed,
Hands in pocket he roams,
The twisty lake-roads.
Suddenly as he is unguarded,
Out of the nearby water,
A giant black-snake alpha predator,
Jumps out to bit Maxie-Max.
Travelling to the core of Maximus,
Masterfully & gently the tip of the tongue,
Enters the bottom centre of Max’s root heart-core.
Once within the 3-year-old tiny centre,
The tongue releases a black poison,
Withdrawing from him after.
Max having woken up,
The dream like a lucid magnum opus in his mind engraved,
The grasp of his awakening and his sweat announced the truth.
The key to his unlocking,
Within the most dangerous dungeon,
Awaited his arrival.
Baring his soul,
Grandmaster Maxie girded,
His loins preparing for battle,
Not allowing himself to be deceived,
By the lies of the abuser.
Telling to himself that I am willing,
To hear, accept and do anything,
This is the secret to knowing the truth.
Since that sneaky adorable truth,
Only reveals itself to the willing,
At last from the depths it came,
After months of excruciating bottled-up pain.
Finally after decades of torment,
And the battering ram of repressed rage,
Brutalized, trampled & hurt,
The truth spoke to Maxie-Max’s heart.
Being willing to face the nightmare,
Not running and hiding any longer,
Cutting off his avenues of escape,
And the murderous addiction-trap,
Which robbed him of many good years,
Eating as locust, chewing his being’s peace,
Max opened his heart to the truth.
By not avoiding the trauma,
And running towards and not from the trigger,
The truth being effortless & free-blowing,
Opened the rusty accursed-dungeon door;
At the awaited dawn of revelation,
Maxie-Max thus took it to heart,
That He had been deceived & raped.
After years of long torture-sessions,
And confronting the abominable man,
Found his bejeweled true self.
As the torturer of the future-self,
Readied his hand to kill & ablaze,
Maximus put on a smiling face.
Having spent decades,
In famished cells of reverse,
Max embraced with openness & hope,
The horizon of the ruby-universe.
By Ashkan Jafarpisheh – September 2020